The trip home was very bittersweet...on one hand we were excited about sleeping in our own bed with soft sheets and fluffy pillows. We were looking forward to brushing our teeth using tap water rather then bottled water. We were excited about all of the luxuries we take advantage of every day... but mostly, we were excited to see our little princesses.
On the other hand - we couldn't believe we were coming home without Marina...without even being able to spend any time in the Ukraine with who we considered to be our oldest daughter (we saw her for a total of 45 minutes during the Orphanage visit.) Pregnancy was difficult for me when I carried both Marbella and Milana because I had to give myself shots in the stomach every day for the entire 9 months. And like many other women, my 1st trimester was horrible. But as difficult as my pregnancies were, it was worth every second. When we came home from the hospital we had a bundle of joy with us... a gift from God. We liken this trip to a pregnancy - we knew it was going to be hard to be away from our girls and the comforts of our home for so long... but so worth it when we got to bring Marina home. We dreamed about the moment we would all be at the airport to welcome Marina home as Marina Grace Green. But it didn't happen... we didn't get the baby at the end of the road. And will most likely not completely understand why this side of Heaven.
Coming home also meant sharing the disappointing news with the little ones... and praying that they didn't feel any rejection... that the evil one couldn't even throw a seed of rejection at them. We arrived home Sunday afternoon while Grammy, Grandpa, and the girls were scheduled to arrive Monday morning. We decided not to tell the girls over the phone but rather pick them up from the airport and tell them in person. We believed this was the best way to protect them from feeling rejected. So, we were waiting for them as they walked out to baggage claim. They were not excited to see us but rather in shock... and interestingly enough they automatically knew that something must be wrong. It is amazing how logical and intuitive little ones can be. In fact, Marbella didn't see us at first, and then when she did she smiled, stopped and asked us what we were doing there and where was Marina. We took the girls in our arms and walked to some empty seats to let them know that Marina had to make a very difficult decision - one that was so hard for her to make because she loved them (the girls) so much. That she decided to stay in her country where she knew the language, the culture, and her friends. We talked about how we have discussed in life to "choose our steps wisely" and this may or may not have been a wise step for Marina but it was her step to take. That we would pray for our sweet Marina every day and ask God to protect her. The tears came immediately. Marbella said she was so sad - I told her I too was sad. Then she said she was so mad - I told her that I too was mad. We continued to talk things over and then moved on to talk about their trip to Disney World. Marbella has brought up Marina and her decision several times since coming home, so we need to continue to pray for peace and understanding that is free from rejection.
Coming home also meant sharing the disappointing news with the little ones... and praying that they didn't feel any rejection... that the evil one couldn't even throw a seed of rejection at them. We arrived home Sunday afternoon while Grammy, Grandpa, and the girls were scheduled to arrive Monday morning. We decided not to tell the girls over the phone but rather pick them up from the airport and tell them in person. We believed this was the best way to protect them from feeling rejected. So, we were waiting for them as they walked out to baggage claim. They were not excited to see us but rather in shock... and interestingly enough they automatically knew that something must be wrong. It is amazing how logical and intuitive little ones can be. In fact, Marbella didn't see us at first, and then when she did she smiled, stopped and asked us what we were doing there and where was Marina. We took the girls in our arms and walked to some empty seats to let them know that Marina had to make a very difficult decision - one that was so hard for her to make because she loved them (the girls) so much. That she decided to stay in her country where she knew the language, the culture, and her friends. We talked about how we have discussed in life to "choose our steps wisely" and this may or may not have been a wise step for Marina but it was her step to take. That we would pray for our sweet Marina every day and ask God to protect her. The tears came immediately. Marbella said she was so sad - I told her I too was sad. Then she said she was so mad - I told her that I too was mad. We continued to talk things over and then moved on to talk about their trip to Disney World. Marbella has brought up Marina and her decision several times since coming home, so we need to continue to pray for peace and understanding that is free from rejection.
We have since learned that Marina can change her mind... she has until May to do that. With that being said, we have decided to put the money we have left over that we raised into a specific account and let it sit there until May. As we have asked God to give us direction for that money, we keep hearing Him say wait so that is what we will do. If Marina doesn't change her mind, we will ask God where that money should go - possibly to another family who is raising money for their adoption... perhaps it should go to a transitional home in the Ukraine for the lucky ones who have one in their region that helps teach them skills on how to live on their own (skills they did not learn in the orphanage)... perhaps it will go to starting one in Marina's region. We will listen to what God says and will follow that - and will definitely keep you posted.
Andy and I have started making a list of all the ways we have seen God's hand in what has happened over the past couple weeks. Our next post will be to share that with you. We have also gotten a bunch of emails where others have been inspired by what has been happening in our lives. We would love to hear how God has spoken to you too. We won't share it with everyone but would like to record it in our journal.
Thank you all for your continued prayers!
Love you all more than you know!
Karin and Andy
Love you all more than you know!
Karin and Andy
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